Where to start. It's been many months since I last wrote. I had my son Christian on the 23rd of May, and he came so fast. I had been laboring at home with braxton hicks contractions for two weeks. When I went for a 39 week check up my water was leaking and I was sent to the hospital. We took our time getting there. We went home and packed some more, we went to lunch, we went to his moms. Finally after we checked into the hospital and I got the computer set up to Skype my sisters they broke my water. It wasn't two hours later I felt like I needed to push, and in 15 minutes Christian was born. The doctor almost missed it, when he got to the room the head was already out. We did it again drug free, totally natural and it was the most beautiful day of my life. JD is such a pro at coaching that the head nurse asked him if he would teach the nurses at the hospitals his technique.

Life has been tough this year. My husband and I have adopted his 17 year old cousin, who lost his father to a stroke in December. We had only found out about my pregnancy in September and were adjusting to life in Gillette WY, working for his mother a month before that. So much adjusting, turned into more adjusting. First we had to adjust to life lived close to family, working with family and for family. Then we had to adjust to a smaller living space, we had gone from a three bedroom house in the most beautiful town in Colorado, Steamboat Springs...to living in a flat prairie land in a small two bedroom apartment, with an added person (Peter, our new 17 year old addition). Then Rick, Peter's father passed away very unexpectedly. No one was ready or prepared for how fast it happened. There were lots of surprises that came after that, from cleaning up properties, cleaning out garages and sheds, deciding to move into Peter's late fathers' house. All the while I am pregnant, and it seems like no one remembers or knows or cares about that fact. I packed the apartment and unpacked by myself with no help, and JD moved by himself with very little to no help from family or friends. It was a stressful time, not to mention Peter was getting in trouble with the law every other week, and was already on probation.

I don't even want to continue to discuss the numerous other things that happened because it's just depressing to read, however the Lord has called me out of this darkness and into his glorious light. I am once again being drawn to the Lord through the Weigh Down program. It's a weight loss program that is hunger and fullness driven and God focused. IT makes you press into to God and his Word and his promises instead of love of self and diets and exercise programs. I really am hearing the Lord direct me every day on how I can bring peace into the midst of my home while in the middle of a storm.

My babies are beautiful, and we are going to Texas in a few weeks to see my family. They will get to meet my three month old son for the first time. God is good, his love endures forever.

I feel him moving

This picture should have gone with that last post.

I feel him moving

My son Christian Steven Murphy should be here soon, probably two weeks from now. I feel him moving so much. I am lonely these days. Never before has the presence of my father God been more real to me. It's amazing how hard times bring us so close to our faith and our true first love.

My daughter is doing well, she is so beautiful, and Christian is so cute from his sonogram pictures. I am a blessed women. My husband is strong, loyal and loving. He fights his own battles, but is steadfast in his pursuit to be the best man he can be for us.

So we moved into a new home. It's much more spacious than where we were living. I love the open floor plan and how much storage space I have in the kitchen. Today JD and Eric (a friend from work) are working on the garage. This is like the third time it's been filled up with junk and they are cleaning it out. See, we inherited this house from a handy man who had a tool truck and they have cleaned out the truck and are organizing it by what tools work and which ones don't. My daughter Samantha is having a blast watching dad, and thinks by walking around the tools in circles she is being a big help to him. Cleaning and purging is a part of life, that no one wants to do, but once you take the time and do it life just seems so much clearer. Thinking through what needs to be done is an easy process when all the clutter is gone. Take some time to look at areas in your life, it can be your bills, your closets your personal relationships or like us, the garage. What needs to be cleaned and purged to make living life easier and clearer?

Some women say they love being pregnant, but I am not one of them. I need to learn how to be "ok" with a fat ass and saggy boobs from nursing and getting bigger. Really, I just want to feel hot again. Is that selfish? Am I so in love with myself that those thoughts consume me, instead of my little baby boy who is growing inside of me. I had to go to the hospital this week and get monitored for contractions, and I still have two months to go. I laid down and rested a lot over the weekend and drank lots of water, so I'm feeling much better. I am sure once Christian Steven Murphy is here and the labor is behind me and I have lost my weight I will wonder why I worried so much about the displeasure of pregnancy.

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