Weigh Down

I have been struggling with my weight since I was twenty years old and engaged to be married for the first time (I ended up being married to three different men). I remember being a gymnast and swimmer in my younger junior high and highschool years, and being very active and athletic. It wasn't until I went to Chile on a Missions Trip, where we would stuff ourselves with fried bread all day long, that I started to gain weight. I went on that trip after my freshman year of college, I came back my heaviest, which back then was I think 125 lbs. I came back and it wasn't five months later I found myself engaged to be married and had seven months to get ready. I went home after the end of my sophomore year of college and had all summer to prepare for the wedding. I remember my mom telling me about a class at church that she had taken called Weigh Down Workshop, she gave me the book she had from the class. I read it and everyday applied the priciples of waiting until I was hungry to eat, and as soon as I felt satisfied I would stop. I did spend some time with God, and would turn to him when I was very hungry, but I wasn't all in 100% passionate about him. I just wanted to loose that weight. Well, it worked and would you believe by the time of my wedding I was 110 lbs.

The main point of the book is to fill your empty heart and emotions with a relationship with God, and not food. Do not use food for any other reason except to satisfy a hungry growling stomach. That summer before my wedding I saw myself shrink everyday and I literally ate things like M&Ms; Sonic Jalapeno poppers and food I loved since I was a kid.

So here I am, twelve years later. I have done fitness competitions, (see image above), and followed strict high protein low carbohydrate diets. I have been on exercise and running binges. One time, during my second failed marriage, I had got down again to 109 lbs., but was running three miles a day, doing Pilates and literally eating salads and chicken everyday for my husband who was a doctor. All the while he was at the hospital having an affair with a younger women, who was a medical student. I have tried everything, and I sit here in Colorado at the age of 32 and have my first child, who is seven months, and I am very happily married to a man who loves me.

All that to say, I sit on this couch and after twelve years of going back and forth from diet to diet, thinking I could outsmart God and follow all the ways of proven science and the world with all their diets and work out programs and I am 158 lbs!!! That's almost fifty pounds heavier, I was 200 when I gave birth!!!!

Wow, did I ever think I would be here.

So finally I pick up the book that helped me loose 15 pounds in two months way back when I was twenty years old, and finally............finally I read and understand.....I've been in Egypt. The main concept is God treats us just like he did the children of Israel, we are in a dessert of testing. I have been in my dessert and have been stubborn this entire time, trying to do things my way, the worlds way.

This blog is an official repentance to the Lord for taking his grace and his mercy for granite. This blog will follow me from today, Monday the 18th of July, 2011 through my journey on the Weigh Down Workshop. I want to prove to everyone who reads this that doing things God's way, putting a loving relationship with him first, is the best way to be happy, loose weight and find your purpose in life, every single day. Every day can be filled with joy and delicious treats, in moderation, and at the end of this journey I will be 11o lbs again, and I will be totally delivered from dieting and addiction to exercise. Follow me.